I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
