if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
