Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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