New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
