Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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