awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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