holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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