I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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