she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She told me I should be a condom model.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
