is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
