He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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