We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
