call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
