wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
