Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
