ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
