I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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