wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
no, he came in my armpit
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
