dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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