my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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