Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Congratulations! We have a period
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