You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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