One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
