By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
