he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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