Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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