Quick, to the slutcave!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
