I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
