You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
