hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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