hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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