dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
