Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
