Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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