Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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