i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
