i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
