it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
