we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
