Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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