all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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