The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
