So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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