I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
