Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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