Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
