He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
