Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
