Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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