Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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