Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
