It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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